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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I came across this and had a good laugh. I am sure many of you can relate.

DRIVING IN WESTERN PA

A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you in the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same drivers to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Western PA driver never uses them. Use of them may be illegal. Cadillacs & Mercedes don't have them.

Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane change is considered "going with the flow".

The faster you drive though a red light, the smaller chance you have of getting hit.

Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive body work.

Braking is to be done hard and as late as possible to ensure your ABS kicks in, giving a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

Construction signs warn you about road closures immediately after you pass the last exit before the backup.

Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide useful information. They are only there to make Western PA look high tech and to keep you from seeing the police officer in the median.

Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and apparantly not enforcable during the rush hour.

Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even it is someone changing a tire.

Throwing litter on the sides of the road adds color to the landscape, and gives those Adopt A Highway people something to do.

Learn to swerve abruptly. Western PA is the home to high speed slalom thanks to potholes.

Never take a green light at face value. Always look left & right before proceeding. In Western PA, it is common to stop and decide which direction to turn.

Never get behind a man in an old hat unless you don't mind going 15 mph for miles at a time.

Use your brakes as often as possible. This includes while in the passing lane and when approaching a green light (that sucker may change at any minute!).

When you see a line of cars merging, immediately come to a complete stop so you can jump in, no matter how much you disrupt the flow of traffic.

When using the merge lane, make sure you slam on the brakes at the end of the ramp. This will create plenty of laughs for the people in line behind you.

Feel free to stop at a green light to let the opposing traffic turn left. Let's test those anti-lock brakes in that Toyota behind you.

If you see someone on the sidewalk when stopped at a red light, feel free to sit there and strike up a conversation, even if the light turns green. Hell, you're in no hurry.

When stopped at a three or four way stop, stare blankly ahead of you until you're sure another car is moving through, then hit the gas.

Use your turn signal halfway through a turn. This will confirm that you are, in fact, turning.

Feel free to do your hair, talk on the phone, balance your checkbook or anything else besides driving your car. You've got insurance.

If you are going to wreck, find someone that has had their car less than two weeks.

Heavy snow, ice, rain & fog are no reasons to change any of the above rules. These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards & new car sales.

:D :lol:
 

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ROTLMFAO!!!!

Change the WPA in there, to either Texas(okay, SOuth Texas), or Virginia...

Chase
 

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chasespeed said:
ROTLMFAO!!!!

Change the WPA in there, to either Texas(okay, SOuth Texas), or Virginia...

Chase
...or Cincinatti/Northern Kentucky... hell, pretty much anywhere!! :lol:
 

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Smile? Sh*t, I giggled fer at least 5 minutes! :lol:
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I'll dig out some other stuff I have this week.

Funny how you come across this stuff and still get laughs out of it!

Shan :D :D :D
 

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Yup, sounds like pugent sound to me.
 
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